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The Definition of Funn Quizbowl 2! 
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Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008
Posts: 77
Location: Bradleyville, Missouri
Post The Definition of Funn Quizbowl 2!
You wanted it, and here it is...

The Definition of Funn Quizbowl 2: The George Orwell Revision

It was a cold day in mid-November. Colten Ross, captain of the Bradleyville Quiz Bowl Team would arrive at his high school at 7:45 a.m. Many of the other players, including his younger brother Koleder, right hand men Phillip and Kevin (we call him Bubba, it will make sense why I say this later), and his young freshman teammate, Jessi, or Jeb for short, were already there, because, well the basketball coach refused to stay for practice from 5-7 p.m., so he decided it would be smart to have practice at 7 a.m. The rest of his team, would arrive on buses, the last one arriving at 8 a.m. They had to arrive at the Mark Twain Conference Tournament at 9:30, and it was an hour and fifteen minutes to Hurley, the site for the tournament. The players in practice would have to change, and the team would leave at 8:10 a.m. What would happen next? Well, quizbowl history, and not the good kind.

Colten and the team would arrive at the school at 9:25. When they arrived, Hurley's secretary would stop them and say, "Are you here for quiz bowl?" Mrs. Hall, the coach, would obviously answer "Yes." Then the secretary said "Did you receive the e-mail saying that the tournament was at the baptist church?" Obviously we hadn't, so we drove like crazy people to the church. The tournament hadn't even started.

When it finally did, Bradleyville would first play Chadwick. Now for a brief history lesson.
Bradleyville and Chadwick have been arch rivals for eons. They hate us, we hate them. In fact, about twenty years ago, when Bradleyville won a game by about three points, it was all anyone could do to keep the entire gym from breaking out into a riot.

Bradleyville would win the game 165-110. Nothing serious, it was close, but its always been close. The moderator though was terrible, in fact our coach had to explain how it worked. You can see where this is going. Bradleyville would then play Hurley, in a thirty minute game, MSHSAA format, which somehow worked! Bradleyville would cream Hurley however 160-75, in only three quarters.

Then Bradleyville played Everton, again we won 125-55, but we only really got math computation. Then, Bradleyville would get a bye, and play Niangua. As it was tradition, the captain would send a prayer to Odin. Bradleyville would need it, as they squeaked out a 115-85 win, but there was more math computation.

Now for the interesting part...we went UNDEFEATED, but may not win the conference, we won't know until tomorrow.

In fact, the tournament was so far messed up, we didn't even get lunch. Of course, any quiz bowl team would mutiny. Granted, we love what we do, but if you don't feed us every six hours, we get the urge to kill.

Now for the memorable moments, most of which I want to erase from my mind:

"What, it's at the church?"
Idiots for moderators, including letting students read the final round! (idiots)
Another member having the chicken pox. (This is getting ridiculous.)
Not getting lunch.
Question Provider: The Question Bank (Again, The Horror! The Horror!)
For example:
"If Bubba kills a person he doesn't know what could he be charged with?"

Simply put, here is a word of advice. If Hurley has a tournament, and your coach asks the team if you guys want to go or not, find the phone number to Bradleyville, talk to our coach, or talk to me, and I will give a more detailed description of why you shouldn't do it.

It is because of this I say again...
Viva Las MOQBA!


Wed Nov 19, 2008 9:45 pm
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Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2006
Posts: 4134
Location: Columbia, MO
Post The Definition of Funn Quizbowl 2!
This post fails because it doesn't take advantage of the potential parody of Julia and Winston's sex in a church that playing a tournament in a baptist church presents the author.


Wed Nov 19, 2008 10:16 pm
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Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008
Posts: 77
Location: Bradleyville, Missouri
Post The Definition of Funn Quizbowl 2!
First, the good news is... we won! Stupid organizers went by points though, so we still could have lost.

Second, I would have loved to put in a parody of Julia and Winston, but this church was so SMALL, it couldn't have happened without twelve people in the same room.


Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:07 pm
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Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2006
Posts: 4134
Location: Columbia, MO
Post The Definition of Funn Quizbowl 2!
The more the merrier.
Also, how on earth does your conference decide its champion. Did you not play everyone in the conference or something?


Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:14 pm
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Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008
Posts: 77
Location: Bradleyville, Missouri
Post The Definition of Funn Quizbowl 2!
We played everyone in the conference, but let me give you an idea of how far away each of these schools are away from Bradleyville.

Chadwick: 20 minutes
Everton: 2 hrs
Hurley: 1 hr 30 minutes
Niangua: 1 hr 30 minutes

Basically, game one took way too long, the organizers didn't compensate for it, and we played 30 minute timed rounds, with MSHSAA format. By the time we played all of the teams in the conference, it was 1:30 and we had to get going because some of our players had to catch buses home.

My coach and I decided that they should just stop doing this and let us run the tournament, as no one in our conference besides us can find their rear-ends without a map, compass, GPS, and Mapquest driving directions.

Seriously, its that bad.


Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:28 pm
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Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2006
Posts: 4134
Location: Columbia, MO
Post The Definition of Funn Quizbowl 2!
What is it with Missouri and people looking for their posteriors with directional help?
Also, I'm still confused as to why, if you played everyone and went undefeated, and everyone else then had at least 1 loss, you had to decide the winner by ppg and not record.


Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:31 pm
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Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008
Posts: 77
Location: Bradleyville, Missouri
Post The Definition of Funn Quizbowl 2!
Simple: Because if Ignorance is Power, then these guys believe 2+2=5.


Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:34 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 05, 2007
Posts: 559
Post The Definition of Funn Quizbowl 2!
Wow. I'm sorry. I love how we scored higher on Pickerell's questions than on Q! Galore.


Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:49 pm
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